For several months before leaving my Husband would drive me just down Wellesley Road to Leven Beach. There, Milo and I would walk along the edge of the water where I collected interesting looking stones that washed in with the tide. I wanted to bring small bits of Scotland back to America with me. Those beautiful little stones with their different colors and intricate patterns would allow me to still touch Scotland while being in America.
I promise Matthew, and myself that I would return and when I did I would bring the stones back with me and decorate our garden with them.
I still periodically take the stones out of the Mason jar and hold them in my hands, in a sense 'touching' Scotland...and remembering.
I was not able to keep my promise. I thought I had more time, seems we always think we have more time. 'Time' being a strange, fickled creature, time can work for your or against you. Time can can heal or kill. As it turned out, time was up for Matthew & I. He passed away on October 18, 2008. Unless there's a miracle it doesn't look as though I ever will get back to Scotland. With Matthew's passing, I lost my Husband, my friend & Soul Mate, my dogs who were like our children, step sons, a good neighbor & friend that was my 'rock'. I my home, a country that I loved....I lost my life, all of my hopes & dreams of our future together.
I am left with nothing more than bitter sweet memories, regrets, stones in a mason jar, a key that no longer fist the lock to my home and a dog tag.
~And~ 'Time' has not even begun to healed my wounds.
Stones in a Mason Jar |
My House key that still hangs on my keychain, it no longer fits the lock of our home. Now it's just another house that's occupied by strangers. |
And Milo's dog tag still hangs on my key chain. |
* Bairn
[bairn; Scot. beyrn]
–noun Scot. and North England .
a child; son or daughter.
'The Bairns' were our two dogs, Milo a Jack Russell and Hamish McBeth, a long haired Chihuahua who joined the family about a year after Milo.
'The Bairns' were our two dogs, Milo a Jack Russell and Hamish McBeth, a long haired Chihuahua who joined the family about a year after Milo.
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