"Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever." - Author Unknown.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Did I do that?

Today I was terrorized by Facebook.

I found photos in my album that I did not add.   I know I didn't add these photos because (A). I don't remember doing it. (B).  I never seen these photos before.

So naturally  I was ready to blame the person who's been hiding my keys. I've never actually seen her...
 ....but I know she's here!

but again, I digress.

It turns out that any Facebook user can totally mess with your head by 'tagging' you thereby adding a picture/s to your photo album without your permission or knowledge and worse... you can not delete the photos they add! Sounds like Communism to me!

Thanks Facebook, like I really need someone else messing with my head.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

If I were a chair....

I would look  like this, except  the birds would be dogs.

......and my legs would be much shorter.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Debt Collectors -and- My Lazy Ass Alter Ego

I've been sick with a particularly nasty cold for the past week.  Feeling lightheaded and feverish I went to lay down.  Just when I was about ready to slide into a twilight my phone rings.   I answer it.  The voice on the other end of the phone immediately started to ask me personal questions which I refused to answer until she identified herself.  Turns out she was a Debt Collector.  She then tells me that I owe  $2000 to a private school called The Sanford Brown Institute.  I told her that I've never attended Sanford  Brown.  She said: Yes you did,  back in 1992 .   I insisted that I had not.

Could it be that I have an alter ego who attended The Sanford Brown Institute back in 1992? And could it be that she is  the one who's been hiding my car keys?  And  come to think about it;  would it kill her wash the dishes or run the vacuum sweeper once in a while?  Of all alternate personality in the world if figures that mine would be a slothful-key-hiding  Bitch.

Anyways, since I have no memory of ever going to The Sanford Brown Institute 19 years ago it must be a really lousy school  so I told her that I refuse to pay and told her never to call me again.  She said:  'I will keep calling you until you pay'.  I said: Fine, I am going to block your number.  She said: I will find out your other phone number and call it.  I said: Good Luck with that because I don't have another number but do feel free to contact me  by mail.'  And then I hung up quick because I love having the last word.

I then did what anyone in my position that has an Android phone would do.
I  downloaded a Number Blocking App.  &  blocked the number that was on my Caller ID and just to be 100% sure that she could never call me again from any other phone I  blocked all three of  the Houston Texas area codes.

I love technology.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Three of Us

I really like this picture, aside from the fact  that they're  witches  -or- possibly because they are witches... Anyways...  this picture made me think of me and my two sisters. If this were a picture of the three of us I would be the short, fat one in the middle, except with smaller boobs. 

 Looking at this picture  I get the sense that these gals  enjoy each others company and  that they really seem to like each other. Even more striking to me, is that they seem to accept  one other.  But maybe I'm projecting all of that onto this picture because that's what I always wanted from my sisters, acceptance.


If there's a big gap in my blog posts it could mean that  I am enjoying  amenities at  The Hotel Loony for a spell.  I'm not overly concerned because the Wee People who live in my walls have said that they 'have my back'.

Thank goodness I  have my brother.  I take comfort in the friendship we share, but then again  he believes  Jesus is an alien.....

You just can't make this shit up.

Never Mind Ears, This Creepy-Ass Wall Has Faces

Now this is just creepy. I wouldn't feel comfortable turning my back on this wall.   If I had the name of the artist I would make it a point never to cross paths with him/her.

Ohhhh, I donno, maybe I'm in denial  but I think the mind who created this makes me look  perfectly normal in comparison.  The voices in my head all agree and they never agree on anything.

I'm just gonna slowly back out of this blog post.


Nightmares, Zombies -and- Dream Houses

This outside wall would be absolutely perfect except for one detail, My reoccurring nightmares are not about   Vampires.  They are always  about Zombies.

For the past 35 years any time I am under stress I have  nightmares of being chased by fleshing eating zombies (I wonder if there's an app for that)?  Anyways,  the dream is always the same.  I am  running away from a horde of zombies  into what is suppose to be my house.  In my nightmare my house looks like the one in the picture below: 

As you can see most of the doors are missing and those that are still hanging do not close securely.  The  walls are of wooden slats with big gaping spaces between them. Any hungry zombie could easily slip through.  It's just not an ideal piece of real estate for one who wants to avoid becoming the main course in a zombie buffet.

So, I went house hunting.

I really like this house, it's made from old discarded windows,  it's  cute and rustic in a showy exhibitionist sort-of-way.  It would make a wonderful green house but not it's not Zombie proof so moving right along...

Then I ran across this  adorable little house.  I  could defiantly see myself living here after  a few minor adjustments like steel bars on the doors and windows. 

This is adorable. I like the fact that it's on wheels. Attached to the right truck one could outrun even the most athletic of Zombies.

 I saved the best for last.   Although not the most aesthetically pleasing this house is the most practical.  If more Zombies than I'm comfortable with should show up for dinner I could always just pull up the ladder and  'lift off' to another city, state or even planet. 

Options, I like options.

If I Were A house.....

I would look like this......


........'nuff said.